I AM A FAG XXIII

evenin' y'all.

Firstly i must proudly report the most productive activity i have completed in quite a long time-finally putting sheets on my bed. Now let me start by confirming that yes i am a pig and no i don't wish to change it. From time to time i find dwelling in my own filth to not only be sickly satisfying but also reminiscent of my days sleeping on the couch at mum's so i could silently sneak out at any given time throughout the night to have a sexy cigarette. for approximately 5 weeks (though probably more) i collapsed nightly onto the my bare matteress (even the matteress protector was long-crumpled and forgotten somewhere in the void between the edge of my bed and the bedhead..) and swore that 'tomorrow i will put dress this bitchy bed'.

As the matteress slowly darkened, scummed up, and showed evidence of nights and nights of tossing and turning residue, i finally accepted that this state of being was primative and probably unsanitary. With the nights growing ever-warmer, i concluded that perhaps, maybe, just maybe, a layer of 1000 thread count egyptian cotton sheets would probably provide more comfort than a flecked and speckled bare mattaress. I must admit, it felt rather fresh slipping my naked-by-night body onto clean cotton.

Therefore the invite is open to come and witness my newly-dressed bed (nah you wish).. hm..

Speaking of freshness, Winfield Menthols. I acquired them at a Sherwood servo (sacraficing $12 worth of petrol in doing so) in the mid-morning hours of this day. Now i have definitely already tortured you with my rantings of my appreciation of menthol cigarettes. And as is tradition every so often while munching through various packs, i test menthols, not only because they rock, but because my throat may may may may need a break from purely tabacco. (well aren't i just such a responsible person? ) I vaguely remember a rather charming young lass talking these babies up once at the Gats. Now if i wasnt so busy staring remoreslessly down her cleavage, i may have been able to remember her name and possibly face so i could give her a personal cheers ta thanks for the recommendation, as overall i have been more than impressed with their quality.. and a-one and a-two and a..

Attractiveness of Pack- Opting for the more minimalistic traditional Winfield design, i am thankful that they haven't blemished this pack with a 'SPECIAL EDITION!!!!' design that really is just dreadful. The green of course alludes to the menthol state of it's contents (not that it means much, but the green colour is slightly more mint coloured and a lighter shade of green than any other menthol pack i have acquired. Nice touch. ) Sticking to tradition, and sticking it to the man, the pack is exciting enough to please yet not overly stimulating. oh good. 3.5 out of 5 m.t

Smoothness and Flavour- Not quite at the level of Alpines for flavour or smoothness, but still, i painfully admit, better than Marlb Menths. Tear. An icey fresh sensation occupies every flavour receptor and the soft billowing cloud caresses the resp. tract. Elegantly seasoned with just a hint of tabacco, these duzzas satisfy the around-the-clock need for a shmoke while offering a splash of refreshing zing. 4 out 5 mally tums,

Burning Time- Unfortunately here i must report an epic failing in these cigarettes. By the time i check myself out in my rear-vision mirror and pout longingly at the oh-so-yum business man halted patiently beside me at an irritatingly long red light, the cigarette is gone gone gone. (that should teach me not to go around scaring innocent drivers..). With a burning time comparable to n.b's duration in bed and the time it took me to spend my KRudd $950, i dissappointedly award a mere 1, as they truly really really bail far too prematurely. Like, i mean it's a shame to say, but almost like a B&H (eeeeeeek!)

Lingering Taste- Yep, 10minutes on it's still there. I am confused, have i recently brushed my teeth or is it purely the minty boom of the menths?? As with all the other menthols i have raped, any taste of tabacco is quickly engulfed and overriden by the icey mint of menthols, however this provides a long duration of coolness and a sensation of shiverrrrrring sex. 4 out of 5 mmaaaaaaa t.


Average Score for Winfield Menthols- Just over 3. See it's a shame these dickheads run away so quickly, otherwise the av score would have been as high as Lennon in the sgt. Pepper days. Though allowing for this slight fail in consistency, i think they've done darn well. I would urge you to agree.

#another saturday night and i ain't got nobody..# ah cat stevens ma baby i know how you feel. Yet i am oddly content with the knowledge that a) it's sat night and i'm umm not drunk? and b)all the money that may have been spent if i were out is sitting dormantly in my wallet (yes all $2.35 of it.. wow i could have had a huge night..)

Tomorrow will no doubt be another brilliant day, and the siren call of the beach will overtake all my senses and try as i might i will not be able to resist diving into her sweet sweet wet vagina (and by wet vagina i mean crashing ocean waves, of course..)

Let me know if you wannnna tag alone on my trip? But just remember a)i sing in the car. loudly. and very badly. and b)Colin doesn't like you. And again my social retardation is in full swing.

Good night and good luck (to those who are out, on the prowl, and have higher standards than oh, say, me. )

luff missss.